So I have a dilemma: How do I say "no" to a relative when she asks me for a favor I'm not inclined to oblige?
More specifically: How do I tell a high-schooler cousin who repeatedly asks me to do her assignments for her that I can't?
It's not that the work isn't hard—an anti-drugs slogan here, a poem about the Holy Spirit there—but I don't like how she asks it. I don't think she means to be rude but really, she could phrase her requests a better way, not to mention include a few more details about the assignment other than the vague, "Achi, gwa m k poem abt Holy Sprt." (And you guys know how I feell about excessive text-speak, i.e. shortcuts in spelling).
Plus it's not like she's asking me to HELP -- nope, she wants me to do the WHOLE thing, even generate the idea itself.
What galls me even more — I don't even get a "thank you" when I submit the final work.
It's hard to be a bitch about it because, first of all, I don't know if her mom (my mom's sister) was the one who told her to ask me. In this case, bitching to my cousin would be tantamount to bitching to my aunt. Secondly, even if the request did not originate from my aunt, what if my cousin goes whining to her? Eh di lumalabas ako pa ang hindi helpful.
Eric and my brother have some suggestions but I don't think they'll work as well:
1) Just ignore her text messages. Tell her my phone was turned off or I left it upstairs and didn't see her message until it was too late. Well, she usually gives me 2 to 3 days advanced notice, so if she repeatedly texts me, I can't "accidentally" ignore her messages forever. Plus, what if she calls me at the landline?
2) Tell her I'm too busy. Yeah, right. Everyone knows I don't have the most hectic schedule in the world right now.
3) Submit sub-standard work so that she won't ask me again in the future. Hey, I have my pride to maintain.
And finally:
4) Complain to my mom (so that she can talk to my aunt). I'm too old to be running to my mom over a little thing like this. Besides, knowing my mom, I have a feeling she'll just tell me to take the high road and indulge my cousin.
Do you guys have any suggestions?
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3 comments:
agree with pao but then maybe talagang nahihirapan din cya. and instead of saying it to her just like paoyu said maybe you can soften the blow by offering to help her edit her work. and oh tell her that your help is limited to improving her work but not change it. so pag lousy gawa nya then lousy dn grade nya:D and last but not the least that she can't expect you to be always there to help her especially paglabas ng babay mo kc busy kana pagiging mom:P
you could love your cousin -- which means not allowing her to be crippled by her dependency. leslie already gave sound advice. just hoping to reinforce it ;-)
i do the same as leslie had adviced. i tell my sibs to do the draft the best they can and i'll help edit it. they know better than to ask me to do their work.
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