License to rant

I went to have my driver's license renewed today and, as with any trip to a government office, there's no lack of interesting stories to tell.

The first story involves the mandatory urine test to screen for drugs. I had a lot of urinalysis done when I was pregnant so when they asked me for a sample this time, I obliged by doing the usual -- peeing a small but medicine-dropper-adequate amount into the cup. When I came out, the man took a look and said, "Ma'am, inom pa kayo ng tubig, kulang po bigay ninyo. Kailangan puno."

And we're talking a pretty big cup here -- if it were my first pee of the day, I'd fill it up easily, but we're talking about a half-full bladder here! I was tempted to ask what the hell kind of exams they were doing that they needed so much wiwi (don't they just need a drop or two to be examined???) but I didn't want to create a fuss (I was in a hurry and you don't mess with government, lest they "misplace" your forms) so I went out and bought 2 bottles of mineral water, which I gulped down.

Went back inside and peed again -- shet!! Kulang pa rin!!!

This time I drank 3 bottles of water, and finally, success!! I filled it to the brim and prayed the pee would slosh onto the examiner's hands.

When I told my dad about it, he said they probably needed that much pee so that they could "sell" the excess to those applicants who could not afford to submit their own samples. Shet talaga.

Story #2 involves the lady evaluator I submitted my papers to. For some reason she was super nice to me --

1. instead of letting me wait outside like the rest of the hoi polloi, she actually told me to just hang around inside the LTO office "para may aircon;"

2. she put my papers on top of her colleague's pile instead of the bottom so that it would get processed before all those others who were ahead of me;

3. and she even gave me her landline and cell numbers so that in a few months, I could easily find out if my permanent license was ready to be claimed.

Either I reminded her of her daughter or granddaughter -- or she saw my home address and probably felt a person who lived in such a place was worth sucking up to (as if).

I'm just glad she was a woman -- if a male evaluator did all these I'd be creeped out. Not to mention receive another "What were you wearing anyway??" sermon from Eric.