When I was old enough to decide with finality, I knew that I didn't just want to be a writer, I wanted to be a journalist. I wanted to write to "comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable," to expose misdeeds, to open people's eyes to truths and lies, to change the world.
When I got the scholarship from the Philippine Daily Inquirer, one of the terms was that I had to work for them once I graduated. An instant job at the country's top broadsheet... cool! My dream was in the bag.
Or so I thought. Like many dreams, mine had to take a backseat to reality. When I graduated, PDI did NOT have an opening for a reporter. They wanted me to wait until there was one. One month of waiting became two, became three... until finally, I knew I had to do something or I would go crazy from inactivity. PDI was nice enough to let me work elsewhere first, and that they would just call when the opening came up.
Well, it's been four years to that day. I have worked for a PR company, an international airline (as a PR rep), and now I'm in a magazine publishing company as an editor of a department makes ads and advertorials for the magazines' different advertisers. I never got to write that hard-hitting expose, interview heads of state, or influence public opinion over an issue. Instead, the only thing I write are the benefits of whitening products or how effective a particular brand of toilet paper is.
I thought I was okay with it; after all, at least I get to write. Plus, the pay isn't that bad--certainly more than what I would earn at PDI.
But when events like EDSA Dos, EDSA Tres, the Erap impeachment, and even the Oakwood mutiny, occur.... my first thoughts are always "Damn! I should've been there!"
Like last night--I watched Dateline: Afghanistan on ABC-5, and my old blockmate, Jason Torres, was there--embedded with the Afghanistan peacekeeping force!!! He and Ed Lingao had been stationed in Kabul for two weeks, reporting on life in post-Taliban Afghanistan, interviewing locals, riding with the soldiers on their tanks.... Argh!!!! I texted Jason right after, telling him I was very happy for him... and also super envious. Damn! I should've been there!
Sometimes, I don't know what to think. Maybe I should've waited and been persistent with PDI; maybe I shouldn't have allowed myself to be lured by the stability of corporate life; maybe, maybe, maybe. But at the same time, I know that had I chosen that path, life today would be very different for me--I doubt I would've met the love of my life, I'd probably be living off a suitcase (and I'm such a homebody, can I really do it?!), and I'd probably be eating death threats for breakfast.
Life now is good, but sometimes, I think that OTHER life could be good too.
Hayyyy....
Well, at least am starting with Entrepreneur in May. I won't be toppling dictatorships, but at least I won't be writing about toilet paper. There's something to be said for that.
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5 comments:
It's so freaky because I can so relate (not to the journalist thing) to the possibilities of the OTHER life.
Would it be so ungrateful to want more, when what we have is already so damn good??
the first time i saw RJT, never in my wildest imagination would i have pictured him in a tank riding through Afghanistan.
looks really are decieving.
Hi Moan: I really think it's human nature to always think of the "what if's." I guess that's why there's that saying about the grass being greener on the other side :)
Hi John: You should see Betong now... he is so FAT! As in
F-A-T!
Parang ang lalim nung "Hayyy..." Jac! :) Dont worry, your time with SP is ticking fast so yes, no write ups on toilet paper and no last minute demands from clients. I really hope you'd enjoy ENTREP at pag may young, eligible millionaires diyan ha, you know who to call first ;)
wow! didn't know ur going to work for ENTREPRENEUR mag na! :) hmmm... May 2005? That gives me approximately 2 months to become a millionaire and then i can give u an exclusive interview! malakas ka sa kin eh! hahahaha. ;)
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