A lot of people keep asking me how married life is, and honestly, I don't know what to tell them. Some days, it's fine; other days, I feel I made a huge mistake and that I would give ANYTHING to un-marry myself. Let me clarify that this feeling has nothing to do with Eric -- it's more of I miss my family, my old house, and even my old routine. I was telling Eric, "Before, our problems were just deciding what movie to watch or where to eat out. Now, our problems are what food to cook for lunch and making sure the refrigerator is well-stocked."
And I would imagine myself doing these same things FOR THE NEXT 50 YEARS and that freaks me out. And I suddenly begin to think how uncomplicated my life as a single girl was, and how there were so many things I took for granted back then.
Eric says I'm just going through the adjustment period. And I've talked to a couple of married friends and they all said they experienced the same thing. They say the feeling amplifies once I have a baby, which was also why I have also decided to postpone having one for now. I really don't think I'm ready yet. In the meantime, I'll just have to take one day at a time.
It's also partly why I was so eager to come to work today. Because at least THIS is one aspect of my life that hasn't changed a bit (except now everybody is giving me sex advice!). Oh God, I'm finding comfort in work... what does that make me?!
3 comments:
we can drink in december :)
hahahah. cest la vie
in a weird way, jac, i understand that turmoil you're going through. when i left our old department and delved into editorial life, the laid-back-ness of it just kind of threw me into a loop.
but we'll get used to it. we're adaptable creatures anyway. we may miss the old, but the change will do you good. maybe that should be your mantra for now :)
be brave girl! :)
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