I wuz robbed

I went to my parish church, St. Peter in Commonwealth, QC, last Saturday to have my wedding bann posted.

The first thing the girl in the office asked me was where I lived. I thought she was just verifying if I was really part of the parish so I gave her the name of my subdivision.

Then: "Ma'am, kayo po ba ang bride?"

"Opo."

"Ate," she hollered out to her companion. "Magkano ulit pag yung babae sa atin? P300 ba?"

"Hindi," her companion answered. "Pag lalake, P300; pag babae, P400."

I was shocked at the price, but my feminist instincts took over first. "Bakit po mas mahal ang babae?"

"Kasi pag babae kailangan ng permission [to wed outside the parish]. P100 yung permission."

"Oh, so ang lalake di kailangan ng permission?" I mentally groused, but paid the P400 anyway, seeing I really had no choice in the matter. It's not as if I could go to another church.

On my way home, I texted my friend whose fiancee belonged to the same parish as I me and complained about the exorbitant charge. She called me up right away to tell me that her boyfriend thinks I was scammed, because when he was paying for his wedding bann (yes, he paid P300), the girl in front of him only paid P250!!!!

"I think they base the price on where you live," he told me. "Di ba ang unang tinanong sa iyo kung saan ka nakatira? That's the first question they ask people. Siguro pag subdivision, mas mahal. "

What a raket! I don't think I've never been more disillusioned about the Catholic Church. Man, they better give me permission to get married, or I swear I'm converting.