About last night

I came home last night all perky and happy... but ended the evening feeling absolutely crappy.

I don't want to go into details, so here's the short version: for about 30-plus minutes, my mom spewed out a litany of (apparently long held) pent-up frustrations regarding how Eric and I were planning our wedding.

I ignored it at first. In one ear, out the next. You have to understand, see, that in our household, defending yourself is tantamount to "answering back," which is cause for a whole new set of sermon. So good thing it was my turn to do the dishes, at least I had something to occupy myself with. But the more she talked, the more her words started to get to me. I felt it was unfair that she wasn't letting me defend myself, but at the same time, some of what she said was beginning to make sense.

My brother kept muttering at me to ignore her, ignore her.

My dad sympathetically told me, "Ang hirap malagay sa gitna 'no?" and told me this was only the beginning. He told me I have to understand that my mom had the luxury did not experience having in-laws, so she does not know what it's like to be in my shoes. So I have to cut her some slack.

By the time I went out for my regular nightly jogging, I felt like I was going to explode, my mom's words kept ringing in my ears. Endorphins were no help at all, hehe.

When I spoke to Eric that night, I didn't tell him anything. I certainly didn't want to fight with him over this, but I couldn't help but act a bit snippy either. Luckily, he didn't push, I think he thinks it's just PMS.

So I went to sleep feeling very, very shitty. Because my mom was mad at me. Because she was mad at me for something that I know isn't my fault. Because, as my dad says, this is only the beginning.

I felt better when I woke up this morning. When I saw mom, we both acted like nothing happened last night. I don't think she's even aware how hurt I was. But oh well...I'm still spending another 5 months living with her, no sense staying morose all that time. So deadma. Move on.

But now I know why some people choose to run away to get married.