Crushed

I met a guy yesterday who is now officially my cutest interviewee since.... forever! He's smart, successful, funny and—the clincher—looks like Russell Wong! Check out the November issue of Entrepreneur, you'll know who I'm talking about.

***

"He's so cute!" I squealed to Eric last night. "And the amazing thing is, he says he's 36 years old but I swear, he looks 29!"

ERIC: Is he married?

ME: That's what I don't know yet. But he wasn't wearing a ring. Plus when I asked him what a day in his life was like, he didn't say anything about 'spending time with the wife and kids' or 'with the girlfriend.' He just says he ends his days by working out.

ERIC: He's probably gay.

***

Funnily, my co-worker, who was also with me when we met Mr. Cutest Interviewee Ever, was absolutely mortified when I texted Eric right after the interview to gush about the guy. "Won't he get mad? Or jealous?" she asked worriedly, as if expecting that Eric would call off the wedding just like that.

"No," I laugh. "It's just a crush, it's not as if I want to leave Eric for him."

And that prompted her to spend the rest of the day asking me and our photographer (who's happily married as well) what the difference is between a normal "crush" and a crush that's tantamount to infidelity.

***

Personally, I think it becomes more than just a crush if you start going out of your way to make something more happen out of the original relationship. Like in my case, I don't think there's anything wrong with posting a polaroid I have of Mr. Crush on my corkboard, but if I start texting him things like, "Hi, hope you have a nice day today," out of the blue, then that's already pushing it in another direction.

Or maybe if you start finding more fault in your partner and you begin to wish he was like Mr. Crush instead. No one's perfect, of course, and you'll often find a quality or trait in someone else that you wish your boyfriend has. But once you start resenting your boyfriend for what he doesn't have, and begin daydreaming about how perfect your life would be with the other guy, then that's a warning sign as well.

But I think the best gauge if you're going too far would be to ask yourself: If my boyfriend were doing to another girl what I'm doing to this guy right now, how would I feel?

I guess the answer to that would also depend on the kind of relationship you both have (maybe you're more open than other couples), but it's still a good gauge nonetheless.

What do you guys think?

***

Now, what about "flirting"? When is it okay to flirt, and when does it become dangerous? Now that deserves another post altogether, but feel free to tell me what you think as well. Am off to meet more cute guys do another round of interviews. Bye!